You are never alone

Have you ever sat back in ah of others? I have a tendency to sit back and judge myself by the accomplishments of others. I see these women that have accomplished so much. They raise 15 children, they are active in their church fulfilling many callings, they feed the homeless, they have started a business from scratch and now are making bundles of money, etc, etc.... I remember meeting with a woman with such great psychic powers and I have wonder what it would be like to be her.

It makes me feel very small and very unimportant.

Then I remind myself to take a step back. I have to evaluate my life and my accomplishments.

I have survived a very dysfunctional home. I raised 10 brothers and sisters. I have endured abuse at the hand of my mother and step father. I was the monster of their nightmares. With my birth came reality, responsibility and heart ache. Everyone and everything was more important than I was to anyone. I have never had anyone that I can trust or depend on. I was completely alone in a house hold of 12.

I still believe to this day that if I was not for my angels I would be dead. My angels raised me. In turn I raised my mother’s children from both marriages. Do you know not one of them will talk to me? My mother has convinced all of them that I am a monster. They are scared of me.

There are a lot of things that I could focus on and be depressed, just look at the world around us.

Count the many blessings in your life. If you can't find them ask someone around you. If they dont know ask your angels.

I remember when I was a teenager maybe 13 years old. I was exhausted. I had gone to school all day and then came home and did laundry, fixed dinner, cleaned the bathroom, did dishes and went to young women’s. Young women’s is a once a week meeting for girls between ages 12-18 to meet in a Mormon environment and have lessons about different religious subjects.

It was a beautiful lesson. At the end of the lesson my teacher handed out a book for each of us. I looked at the authors name and new that I would marry into that family. I went home and told my mother of my experience. She told me that there is no way to marry into this family because he only has daughters. I explained that I did not know how or why, but I will marry into his family.

Several years later, I would sneak into a dance club at the age of 16. You were required to be at least 18 and have identification to verify. For some reason I was never ID'd. If you saw me at age 16 you would have thought I was 12. I look very young for my years.

Any how I would go to the "Star Palace" every Thursday night for country dancing. One night I met this most amazing man. I did not know him; oh he was so handsome and funny. I have never heard anyone tell stories they way he did. I was gone, head over hills. I had never felt that way before, I just knew. He was the one.

I have to tell you I was very freaked out. My parents went through a bad divorce and here I am 16 and I knew. Over the years I had promised myself to never get married. You know the whole men are dogs’ thing. I was gone hook, line and sinker…

I never got a chance to meet him that night. Each week I would go dancing just to see him. I was too shy to introduce myself. He never once noticed me or talked to me.

One day after getting home from school, I received a phone call. "You do not know me" a deep voice said on the other end, "but I have noticed you and I would like to know you better. Do you have some free time tomorrow night"? "I have a truck and a tank of gas and I would like to take you out". I asked, "Who is this"? He laughed with the sexiest voice I have ever heard.

The next night came so quickly. I was so scared and excited at all the same time. He was so gorgeous and so kind, what a gentleman, he held open my door and always said thank you and please.... Ohhhhhhh heavy sigh. I was completely in love. 6 months later I married my sweetheart.

Would you believe, he was the nephew of the author of the book that I received 5 years earlier? I still feel in ahh of the wonderful man I was lucky enough to marry. He is my heart my everything.

I have nothing to envy, I am wonderful the way that I am. So are you. Thank you my angels for watching over me and guiding me.

The day and the life....

Last weekend I had a small women’s group over. As you see I am slowly coming out of the closet. I had invited likeminded people to just converse and speak freely about having special abilities. The rules are that you are safe and no judgment will be made.

We sat in my little living room which is now adorned with bookcases and books. I really should call it my library. Leather chairs and tables. Picture how Barnes and Noble use to look like. Very relaxing and calm environment. I had quite music playing in the back ground. I sat out water, crackers with cheese and chips with salsa. The scene was set.

As each lady arrived I did a personal Tarot reading. To be honest I am always amazed how close the readings come for each person and the things going on in their life.

Once we were a full group, I explained that I would like to set up a once a month meeting where people can come and discuss what is on their mind. I want the group to offer assistance, input or whatever is needed. This meeting was to cover the power of one person making a difference. The world is in turmoil and it is going to take likeminded people putting positive thoughts out into the collective to help heal society. I am not talking politics, I am talking human freedoms. No matter your belief system, we all need to open to positive thoughts about happiness, freedom and world peace.

I think that it is nice to have a support system.

During this meeting we focused on self awareness. I performed Reiki on each woman. I love Reiki, it is so calming and warm. It helps make you aware of yourself and address issues that have not come to the surface yet. By the end of the evening my arms were so hot, I had to sit on the cold front porch just to cool off. It is wonderful anytime that I get a chance to perform a Reiki treatment.

Within the next month I should have my second level Reiki training. I am so excited. I have the privilege of having a dear friend hand down the Reiki Symbol from a very old and honorable lineage. She is my Reiki Master. This woman is so amazing. What makes her so amazing is that she has no idea how intuitive that she is or how powerful her healing powers are. She gave me my first level Reiki attunement and certification. She told me that she was surprised how natural it was for me. What she did not understand is that if I could have one tenth of the healing power that she has I would be truly honored.

I think I let myself get over whelmed with the blog. For some reason I think that I have to write a novel or something. So I am giving myself a break. I will write what I feel when I feel it.

Make sure you meditate, stay focused and be open.

Autum is in the air

I love this time of year. I love to see the beautiful colors of fall. The harvest of pumpkins, fresh cut hay, leaves drifting down, and apples being made into pie, sauce, juice whatever your heart desire. Feeling the crisp clean air in your lungs is invigorating.

A few days ago it rained and rained cleaning the air. The air is clean, my car not so clean.

I ran around today doing all of the things that can’t be done during the work week. I got a massage at the massage school, went to breakfast with my dear girlfriend, washed my car, went to the pumpkin patch, and went to a charity fund raiser for "The Children’s Justice Center". I came home and put out bales of hay and put maybe 20 plus pumpkins through my yard. It looks wonderful.

This time of year means different things to different people. To me it is a mixed pot. I love autumn and the harvest. I also love the spiritual side of the pagan holiday, Day of the Dead or All Hallows Eve. The symbolism of the jack-o-lantern, the broom, the pointed hat of the witch, and the apple to name a few. These traditions have been around for a very long time. Hundreds of years they have been in place. Now Halloween is a time for children, joy, costumes and candy.

I recommend looking up the different symbols of Halloween. It is very interesting.

You know this is the time of year that my spirit seems to be at peace. Maybe it is because our loved ones that have passed away can come closer to our souls. Most people that I come into contact with say they love this time of year, it is so peaceful and starts the holiday season.

I think that your loved ones touch you, letting you know, on a different vibration, everything is going to be alright. There is a bigger plan. Have faith, they are watching over you. BOO!!

Meeting of the minds

Yesterday I went to lunch with 2 of my girlfriends. We went to a little Chinese place in downtown Provo. We haven't seen each other for months.

Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. We sat down and began to catch up on all of our life events. Her kids are doing this, my job is doing that and her husband is a good man. She went on vacation and her small son fall off the roof. What is your Chinese sign?

As I sat back and listened to my dear friends laugh and chat about the "spice of life" (the events that happen from day to day). I realized how wonderful it all is. LIFE. The ups and the downs. I could do this forever.

Chatting in our little booth, our food arrives. The food is beautiful. Truly feel blessed. Good food and good friends. Time flew by ever so quickly.

Before I knew it we randomly began talking about our gifts. One of my friends calls it her super power. Her super power is when she talks about a movie, within 3 days it will play on TV. My other girlfriends super power is she will think of a song and it will start playing on the radio. One of my super powers is to run into famous people.

We were laughing so hard. My stomach ached in pain as the muscle singed up with each giggle and outburst. I tried so hard not to laugh out loud, we all did. The flood gates broke all at the same time. A whirl wind of laughter came rushing out completely uncontrolled. People close to us began to join in. Before long it seemed that the entire restaurant was in the throes of laughter.

As I sat back and enjoyed the miracle of pure joy, I had a light bulb moment, how many people have the gift of a 6th sense. There are so many. They incorporate into their everyday life. No one seems to think much of it. Has our culture started to evolve to a higher vibration enough that things no longer make you different. No longer are you misunderstood. I have long believed that everyone has these same abilities in one shape or another. It kinda seems to me that they just deny these abilities.

I think the age of super powers is on us. Few recognize it, but many just expect it. How many times are you amazed when someone seems to know your thoughts? A friend calls you for lunch at a time in your life that you need a really good laugh. This was a true meeting of the minds. I recommended it.

Today was a good day in the psychic realm for me. As this time of year rolls around my heart longs for a mother’s love and understanding

I have a daughter. We are very close. We talk at least 3 times a day and usual many more times over the cell phone. She is away at school. She is very far away. I miss her.

I long for this same kind of relationship with my own mother. I do not understand why we cannot get a long and have fun and do things together. I know that she loves me in her sick twisted way. I also know that she hates me and thinks that I am a monster. I just miss what should have been. As an adult, I know all the psychology around it, but I think that my heart is kid like. I keep hoping that someday she will just love me. That she will love me like a normal person would love their daughter. Like, I love my daughter.

I have had several readings from a couple of different but talented women; they have all said the same thing. I did choose to come to this life and I choose my mother. Can you believe that I was that crazy in heaven to choose a childhood of torture? What was I thinking? I joke, but I truly wonder why I would do that to myself. Was I here for her to learn something from me? Was I placed there to help raise her children? Or was it to put in a place to receive my little family? I have to believe that there is a purpose. I could not handle it if there wasn't.

I know that I am meant to be here at this time and at this place. I have told one story how my angels saved me and my sisters from certain death. Here is a second story.

One day in my younger years, my mother had just divorced my father. We went into Salt Lake City or Ogden, I do not remember to visit one of her friends. Her friend had kids a little older than me and my younger sister. We were all bored, our mothers talked for what seemed like forever.

The kids of her friend asked their mother if they could take us over to the gas station across the street. She said yes, and then they asked my mother. My mother has always been a little over protective, they coxed her by saying that they go all of the time and it was very safe, to my surprise she said that we could go.

As we walked out of the door, we all were very excited and were chatting about what kind of candy we would buy. We walked a couple of blocks where we came to an 8 lane highway. It was a HIGHWAY!!! Safe!!! It is a highway!!! Whose brilliant idea was this? This is not across the street. I looked at my sister and I told her that we are not going to go. She was young and wanted to get her candy. They assured me that they do this all of the time and it is safe, you just have to run. At that they all took off and left behind on the other side of the highway.

I was young too, and did not like that I was left alone. They called for me to run. I wouldn't. A couple of the older kids ran back over to bring me over; they grabbed my hands and said to run. I ran. I passed the first 3 lanes, then 4, then 5, would you believe I fell flat on my face in the 6Th lane. I looked up, there was a gold color car heading right for me and all I could do is watch. The older kids ran to the side of the road. Everyone was yelling to get up, I couldn't move. I watched the other cars start to slam on their brakes; I could hear the squealing of their brakes. The car heading for me was not one of them. I do not know if the driver just did not see me or what, but he was not slowing down. I was frozen with fear. All I could think of was that I was going to get ran over and ... Before I could finish that thought, time slowed; I was picked up and carried to the safely to the other side. No I did not see anything, I do not remember floating, I just remember being safe and no one knew how I got to the side of road. I told them that my angels carried me and kept me safe.

With so much love and magic in the world it is astounding to me that people have a hard time believing. Some do not even believe in a higher power. How is that possible? You can feel the truth in your soul. We are all part of the greater collective.

Angels amoung us

I apologize that I have not written for a while. I suffer from a small medical issue. For the last 8 days or so my legs have been very painful. It was all I could do to survive the day with pain killers and getting into bed.

For those that don't know me, I have MS.

Actually, it is a great story how I found out. It also leads to the story where I am today with my MS. About 6 years ago, I started to get really bad dizzy spells. I went to the doctor many times. They ran blood test after test. My doctor thought that the dizzy spells and the extreme exhaustions was a problem with my thyroid. After several times of hearing that everything is normal, I gave up and prayed for guidance.

The next day my dearest friend from St George, UT called. She asked if I could come down for the weekend. She said that she had been learning a new skill; she was learning to heal using Reiki. She wanted me to come down to St. George so that she could practice on me. I had no idea what Reiki was, but I trust her and said that I would.

For those of you that do not know what Reiki is, it is energy work that helps heal the body and spirit. The energy worker uses their hands to identify and adjust the chakras of the body. This is a very general description of Reiki.
If you have never had Reiki performed on you, I strongly recommend it. It is like getting a hug from the inside out. It is wonderful and very relaxing. Try it you may like it.

Anyhow, back to my story. I went to St. George. My friend had me lay on a massage table outside under the stars. I was thinking what heck is she going to do to me. Will admit I was a little nervous.
She never physically touched me. She held her hands a few inches above my body and move in a clockwise motion. In my mind I was thinking that this is very weird. So I decided that I would trust her, so I let go and relaxed and allowed her to do her thing.

Ok, I was a non-believer. To my surprise, I could tell where her hands were. I could feel the heat (energy) of her hands at different points of my body. It was amazing to me how wonderful it felt. She was new at this. Once she got to the base of my neck she stopped. I was lying on my stomach. She said that she was seeing and feeling something foreign. She did not know what it was. She did recommend that I have the doctor look there.

I did, I went to a different doctor and explained that I think that something is at the base of my neck. I was sent to have an MRI performed.
On my 40th Birthday the doctor had me come in for my results. She sat me and my husband down and explained that I have MS. They could see several lesions at the base of my brain. The doctor explained that all of the symptoms that I am having are all know symptoms of MS.

Can you believe it? After months and months of testing and they could not find anything. It took a different prospective for my diagnosis.
She was my little angel.

The angels sent her to me so that I can get on with my life. I go to St. George regularly to have Reiki done. My doctors told me that everyone diagnoses with MS around the same time as me are all in wheel chairs. I just suffer from time to time with pain in my legs and extreme exhaustion, but no one outside of family and friends know that I have MS. I love my family, friends and my angels for all of the love and support that they give me.

Angels work through people. All of us can be an angel to someone in need. Have you ever been going through your day and all of a sudden someone just pops into your mind. You act on it and call them. They tell you that you called at the perfect time, when they needed you. Or sometimes you just happen to say the right thing for someone that makes their whole day. This is angels working through you to help other people. Listen. They will guide you. Do not be afraid to ask for help. They love to help and are waiting for you to ask. Just ask.

Ghosts, Spirits, or Angels.

What is the difference? I have no idea. So lets start with what I know. There is dark energy and there is light energy. A smart person once said that once energy is in motion stays in motion.

I have never seen a ghost. I am not sure what a ghost looks like. I have seen dark and light energy. I see angels and I can see the light of spirits while watching over their loved ones. I have never seen a ghost.

People, yes the live ones leave energy prints all of the time. Have you ever walked into a house and you knew instantly something had happened in that home.

I remember I went with my mother to house that she was hired to clean. We walked in. Instantly, I could feel the energy. I asked the lady of the home. Did someone die here? She gave me a funny look and did not answer me. I looked at my mom and told her that a young man had committed suicide in that house. Some months later my mom did find out the teenage son had committed suicide in the home. You always know. Some people think it must be a ghost. It is an energy print. Trauma leaves energy prints.

My aunt was special niece to one of her aunts. One night we were sitting outside with the sun setting in the background. We were talking about scary stories. When I was little I would always ask people if they saw ghosts. My Aunt proceeded to tell me about her aunt. My mother and her siblings did not have a very stable childhood. I think that they were spread out amongst the relatives.

I think this is why they were so close. Before her favorite aunt passed away she promised to always watch over her. Once the aunt passed, every night a rocking chair in her room would rock. She said that in the beginning she would get up to check to see if the windows were open or for some reason why the rocking chair would rock. She was never able to find one. She just knew that it was her aunt watching over her. Later as she grew older the rocking chair was not as active. She must not have needed to be watched over as much. They watch and take care of us, until we do not need them any longer. Then they watch from a distance.

Stories like this always fascinated me.

I remember a time when my sister-in-law and I were hanging out. I had just given her and Angel music box. I was helping her decide where to put it in her bedroom. We were chatting and laughing. We were having a great time. She was in the corner of the room. She bent down, but as I watched, her shadow did not bend down the same time as she did. It delayed about a minute. Then the shadow bent down. I jumped up. It was a shadow. I have never seen anything like this before. I did not know what to make of it. It kind of scared me.

She did not see anything. We talked about it. It was nothing more than her energy print. Nothing scary, just took a minute to catch up. She was so happy, because I gave her this beautiful Angel. She has had a rough life. People do not usually do nice things for her randomly. I sure love her, she is a good person that does for so many.

I know that I have talked to many different people that claim to have seen ghosts. I guess I am one of the few that has not had the privilege. I have a dear friend that her and her husband have a camera that picks up on the energy of ghost. One day I may be brave enough to go with her to see if I will see ghost.

I really try to focus on the positive and light. Maybe that is why. Are ghost dark? Or the spirits I see are they ghost and I just do not know it? I guess time will tell.

Being young is such a glorious thing. When wondrous thing happens, you just chalk it up to magic. No questions, no concerns, just pure joy and understanding.

I remember a time playing in the basement. I was listening to music and just dancing around. My sister and a couple of friends were over. We decided that we would play the music (Classical) loud.

I know I am a dweeb. I love classical music, plays, ballets and many other culture related activities. My husband just rolls his eyes at me. What can I say I love it all. It feeds my soul with such joy and entertains my mind.

Anyhow, back to my story. We decided to turn up the music and shut our eyes. No one was to talk and we were just going to dance. Dance with your heart and no one would watch. This is one of my happy times in my life that I remember. As I danced, I went into a trance like state. All I knew was the music and the movement of my body. I felt completely carried away with the music. After a half hour or so, my feet left the ground. I was at the south end of the large basement. I felt myself floating and ended up on the north end of the basement. My eyes flung opened. I was in shock. What just happened to me? Was this even possible? I sat still, maybe no one noticed.

Before I knew it, my sister ran over to me. She asked how you got over to the other end of the basement so quickly. She said that she heard me dancing and then she could not hear my feet anymore. Oh my gosh, is this possible did this really happened? My friends ran over and asked where did you go? And how did you get over here?

I told them that I flew. Being kids, they all looked at me and said "Do it again". I tried and tried and I was not able to repeat it. How great are kids? They wanted to see it again. They just accepted it for what it was. I wish we could all be kid like and just enjoy each precious moment.

You may not believe me, but it was a wonderful day. In a dark basement a light grew and a little ballerina flew.

As I sit here I wonder what story I should post.

Sometimes my mind is blank. The stories that I remember are the extreme incidents. But it does not even come close to how many times a psychic vision happens. I do want to make it clear. This is a way of life for me. It happens every day all day. So I write the ones that I remember.

I once heard that the purest DNA lineage is from mother to daughter. I bring this up because I believe that gifts and abilities are handed down from parent to child.

As you have probably already guessed, yes my mother has abilities. But she will not acknowledge them. In her younger years I have seen her or should I say I have caught her.

I remember one time that she woke me in the middle of the night. She said that her Grandmother woke her. By the way, grandmother is dead. She said that all her grandmother would do is point. She pointed her out of her room. She then pointed her down the hall. She stood and pointed at the Mormon Temple picture (I gave the picture to my mother for Mother's Day, when I was 12, earned the money working for the book store). My mother could not understand why she looked so angry. My mom wanted to know what I thought, why was she angry and pointing to the temple. I said that she did not want her to go any more, ha ha. My mom said no, no, no, she is telling me that I need to go to the temple more often.

I guess will not know for a while. But spirits will give a message in the way for you to understand. If "MOM Scott" was telling my mother to go to the temple, my mother did not listen.

My sister-in-law had a dream where a wolf came to her to deliver her a message. This is the way that she could accept. My sister-in-law had made it very clear that if she saw a spirit that it would scare her. Now this was a number of years ago and things have changed. She is no longer scared to see spirits

We all grow as life and the experiences of life happen. Life changes our prospective changes.

When I am being told something I listen. No matter what form it comes in. I know what happens if you don't listen and it is never good. So, if you get a premonition - pay attention! You are being told a message for a reason. The Universe, your higher power, is guiding you. If you listen, you will see how guided everyday you are. The problem is this, people are taught to listen only one way.

There are many ways, visions, dreams, feelings, angels appear, angels talk in a spiritual language, sometimes they scream in your head. I have had times when my body reacts and feels sick. Your whole being and every sense are receptors for the guidance given to you, JUST LISTEN with your entire self.

I have to you quick story. I was just driving home from the gym. As I pulled up to my home, I noticed a Magpie in the drive way. Now that was not unusual. As I looked around there was a Magpie on the truck in the drive way. There was one on the garage roof, one on the front porch, one on the trash can, there ended up being over 23 Magpies all in one area and all surrounding me. OK, I will give that this is a little like the movie "The Birds", and I will admit that it did freak me out for a minute and then a warm, calm came over me and I knew that I was being given a message. I just did not understand. A few days later I went down to St George to visit my friend. I ran with her to this ladies house to pick up something. I sat on her couch and waited. I looked around and on the coffee table was a book called "Animal Speaks". I looked around, a little surprised that I was given a manual to look up the message. The Magpies have been plaguing my mind. I opened the book, there it was, my message. Magpies are of the Raven family. Magpies are highly intelligent birds. When they appear, they signify, new beginnings, rebirth spiritual, moving to the next level. WOW, messages come in all forms. I now watch the animals; they are messengers of the heavens.

Today was a great day.

I went to get a facial. I actually told the girl while she was doing my facial that she had the touch of Reiki. I answered a few questions about Reiki and what it was and what it does. Energy work. I told her that I do Reiki and why I do Reiki I have psychic visions. I also see auras, I gave her a little back ground and she was very intrigued. She was so excited and asked if I could see hers. I described the colors that I saw and explained that she has a good heart. It was quite clear that she did not believe me. So I did what I do best. I asked why she does not feel that she is a good person. She proceeded to let me know that she has had problems with the law. I asked why I see a certain animal associated with her. She has a friend that has a tattoo with that animal. I warned her that this friend cannot be trusted; she does not have your back. You need to distance yourself from her. I asked when she got in trouble was her friend involved. She said that she was.

I said that I knew that she was molested as a child and she has a lot of guilt and anger. This was not her fault. I don't think she realized that she never told me about being abused or molested. She feels like she is a bad person. I told her that just because she is different does not mean she is a bad person, look at me. I said “Honey, of all people I can see your spirit, your heart and the spirits around you. You are NOT a bad person". I offered to give her a free Reiki treatment. I left and was at the front desk paying she came out in the office gave me a hug.

Later that day one of my dearest friends called and I could tell that she is just a having a hard time. She kept saying that we were both in transitional places in our lives. I told her that I am feeling like I am in a better place than I have been in a while. I feel like things are finally falling into place. So I offered to help or send positive energy her way and bless her heart she does what she does best and she was trying to help me. Sometimes I just can see how conflicted she is and I have no way to express my concern or what I see. I guess I could best describe it as - she appears weighted down with chains and she has moved from the path that she was on. Something is way out of balance and I do not know why or how to help. So, I have to wait to be given the message of what to do. I told her how much I love her and promised to do an Angel protection for her.

I then went to my hair dresser place. I walked in, it felt so heavy. She looked totally drained. I have never seen her like that. I asked her what happened. She had no idea what I was talking about. So I told her. She then let me know that she was not feeling up to par. She mentioned that even her clients today were off. Just a rough day. I did a quick Reiki session on her. She said that it did help her feel better and I told her I would do Angel Protection for her as well.

I love days when just being in the right time and right place to lend some help or give an encouraging word and help someone have a little bit better of a day.

My friends joke, they call me a people collector. People just come to me. I love it, because I believe that they are brought to me for whatever reason and I try to give something to everyone. I smile at a stranger just to see a smile. I say hello, just to hear them recognize that I see them. My life journey is to touch as many people I can. If I can just make one person’s life better, then I have succeeded. I love days like this.

I got to tell a stranger that I am a pyschic. This is a first. Yah!!!

Be careful what you ask for

I have been having a really hard time at work. I work on a sales floor. I have been at this job for almost 8 months. It is an up and coming Web Site Development company. I sell web sites to small businesses.

I have many issues. I have always made my sales goals and I never missed work.

The company had rented an old bowling alley with no windows. We all sit shoulder to shoulder with 25 plus people. You cannot hear yourself talk or for that matter think.

My boss is a micro manager. He started as a designer with this company. He walks back and forth yelling for everyone to get things going. He is a descent person but he is NOT a people person. He is not afraid to let us know multiple times a day that our jobs are on the line. He's mean. He rules his sales floor in fear. But the owners are worst. They rant and rave, screaming and name calling. They behave like little children. They have been become very greedy. They never let the floor see this, but that is how they treated by boss. I sat close to his desk and I could hear the yelling when they called him.

I started out as a daily goal of $500. If you hit your goal you would receive commission. Well that number has climbed; it is now $850 a day. They kept telling us that it is because of the economy. I saw their numbers from year to year and their numbers are not down. The economy has not hurt their business it has made it better. These giants of industry also cut our hourly and the percent of commission that they pay. Stating, this way they would not have to lay anyone off. WHY? The numbers are better than previous years. This makes no sense. The owners sat the entire company down and in the very fake demeanor told us of the pay cuts, like there was nothing else they could do. Bull Crap. I do not buy that pack of lies. They just wanted more money. We all get pay cuts and cannot support our families and the owner pulls up in a new Harley. I am not buying it.


So between a mean boss, and a pay cut, I also have to deal with a clientele that is very unprofessional and throws temper tantrums. I felt abuse by my boss, fellow employees, owners and clients.


On my way to work I did my usual mediation in the morning. I prayed that the Universe put me on the right financial path. Usually I pray for people that need additions to their web site and have money to be brought to me. I pray that I can do what I need to do, to make money to pay my bills for my family. Why oh why I changed my prayer I could not tell you.


So that very day I had one abusive call after another. My boss was yelling and threatening to fire us all and rehire a new floor. I just received my first paycheck with the pay cut. It was about $700 dollars short. I do not about you, but that is a lot of money for me and my family to loss. I ran into the bathroom sobbing - uncontrollably sobbing. I was shaking so hard I could hardly stand up. I was sure that I was close to having a nervous breakdown. I just could not take one more minute. I stayed in there for probably for an hour before I could leave.


I have been at jobs before, where I would get mad enough to walk out, or have a fit, but I have never been this shaken by a job. I knew something had to change. I knew that I was being told that it is time to leave. That night I posted my resume, I had an interview that next day and by Monday I was called to start a new position on Wednesday. As I mentioned the economy is bad. I have friends that have been out of work for over 8 months and others that are taking jobs that are horrible to make ends meet.

All I have to say. Always ask your angels to help and guide you. Just know, they will and sometimes it is rough. What a week.

New time and place: I always tell myself that things happen for a reason - I just wished that I knew what that reason was.

Over this last week I have had a medical scare, my youngest had a great devastating lost, my job is hanging on by thread, I almost had a nervous breakdown and My middle boy left with the Military overseas. I think there should be a limit to which one should be subjected to. I have had a very hard week. All I can say is thank you for the powers that be and an emergency fund.

When I was younger I began attending the Mormon Church. One of the principals that I was taught was about the priesthood. Only men can hold the priesthood. Only a priesthood holder can perform a blessing. So when someone is sick or afflicted they can ask for a blessing to cast out, be healed, be baptized, and so on. I cannot begin to tell you how much I disagree with this philosophy. The day that someone tells me, my very salvation can be given by a man, and only by a man in the Mormon Church with the priesthood. HUGE red flag. I am a firm believer in prayer and blessings. I just believe that men are not the only worthy ones.

My sister and I have never been close. As a matter of fact my parents played us against each other. So there have been many times that we have hated one another. I mean really hated each other.

My sister was in her early teen years. We have just moved into a new house and new neighborhood. She always had a hard time making friends. But this time seemed to be a little harder than usual. I had noticed that her aura had changed, it had diminished. I started to hear and feel dark energy around her. So I watched and noticed the different changes occurring. She would disappear in the afternoon. One time I followed her home. She went into an old abandoned house. It was a few blocks from where we lived and on the walk home from school. It was very old and very scary. I was to frightened to go in. So I sat across the street and waited. It had a really bad feeling to it. After about three hours she came out and headed home. I caught up with her in our room that we shared with two other siblings.

We each slept on a twin bed and we faced head to head. She was very obviously upset. I asked her what was going on. He began to tell me about Sarah. Sarah is a dark spirit that has been torturing her for a while. Sarah would not let her sleep. My sister had not slept in weeks. She said that she could not get her out of her head. That she wished she could die. Being only 15 months older than her, I did not know what to do. So it continued for a couple of months longer. I was getting very concerned that my sister was getting close to suicide. The energy was so dark and so heavy around her. I said many prayers begging for help and inspiration. I was discouraged that the only message that I received was "Just Wait". Tell and 13 year old to just wait.

As time ticked by, our home life got worst and worst. We (the children from the 1st marriage) no longer existed except for babysitting and chores. I kept asking my mom and my step dad for help. I was told that I was over reacting. That if she needed a blessing she would ask for one. I begged and begged and they would not hear or noticed how bad off she had became. She was nowhere near her usual self. I was scared. So I just waited.

One night things got really bad. The dark energy in our room was very heavy. It was hard to breath. The younger children were asleep. My sister began to whimper and cry. I knew this was the time that I have been waiting for. She cried out Sarah, Sarah. Leave me alone! She tossed back and forth in her bed as if someone was beating her. I began to see many dark spirits and hearing voices. It was a mad confusion of LOST. Great loss, they were trying to take my little sister with them. You could hear the moans of the dark energies. Some kind of vortex started with a suffocating breeze sucking all of the air out of the room. The room was stagnant. My sister began begging for help. She sobbed and sobbed. I ran into my moms and step dad’s room begging for him the come and give her a blessing. He sent me away and told me that it could wait until morning. I screamed that it couldn't, they are going to take her. He rolled over and went back to sleep.

I prayed, Please Jesus and Heavenly Father help me help my sister. The words flowed into my head. "IN THE NAME OF THE Father and the SON AND THE HOLY GHOST I cast ye out, no evil is allowed here"! I screamed it three times. With a very powerful wind the room was cleared. It was silent. I was then told to lay my hands on my sister’s head and give her a blessing using the God and Goddess. I then laid my hands on my sister’s head and gave her a blessing. I blessed her with a good sleep and peace of mind. I blessed her with protection against dark energy. I told her that I loved her and she went to sleep. She slept for a very long time. The next morning no one remember anything except for me and my sister. At that she only remembers very small parts of that night.

That is when I realized my own power as a spiritual being. Later on my sister would mention that Sarah was trying to make contact again. We would just banish her away.

Months down the road, my mother received some photos of her family. My sister and I were looking through them, when my sister came across one - she looked up with surprise and said this is Sarah. I asked "The Sarah that was haunting you?" She said "Yes". We flipped the photo over and on the back – there was written the name Sarah. That was really freaky.

My mother asked around and found out that Sarah was a very unhappy angry person in life. She carried her anger to the other side. Apparently she was not able to let go. For some reason she was connected to my sister. Would you believe it?
This is truly one of the scariest nights of my life. To this day, this story makes me shake.
My sister still talks of Sarah. Although she tries to bring light energy to her and her family the dark seems to be attracted to her. It is true; you will attract the energy that you put out there. She tries very hard to focus on the positive.
We are now very close. Good night all.

When I was young, I lived in Texas. We had a huge backyard. We enjoyed a creek and a forest. Wild life like you could not believe. I thought that I lived in a magically place.

I remember when my sister was born. My mother was very sick and had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks. By the time that she was released, she was still very weak and sickly. The doctor insisted that my dad hire people to help. Someone to clean the house take care of the baby, the cooking, and iron my dad's dress work shirts, etc.

During this same period of time in the Dallas area, young girls were disappearing. They were showing up in the next day or 2 tortured and dead. If memory serves me well, they ranged from ages 7 to 14.

On the nightly news I would hear "young girl walking home from neighbors house disappears, next day shows up tortured and ran over by car several times". The murderer killed his victims with his car once he had completed his torture of their small bodies.

I was 7 years old. Once a week we ran my dad's shirts over to an elderly woman's house to have them ironed.

Me and my 2 little sisters sat in the car. Windows rolled down. Light breeze was blowing through the car. It is early afternoon. I watched my mother talking to the woman about how much better she is feeling and this would be our last time to bring over laundry.

The woman lived in a humble home. You could tell that she was just trying to make ends meet. She had a son. He lived with her that was in his early 20's. I had seen him around a couple of times.

This time was different very different. I had a really bad feeling and the Angels were screaming for me to lock everything up. On this nice warm summer day, I rolled up the windows and locked the doors of the car.

Soon the son appeared; he was walking very quick and taking large strides. It was as though he did not know that we were there. He walked by, all of a sudden stopped dead in his tracks. He looked down into the car. Carefully analyzing what he was seeing in front of him. He glared in at us. He looked back at his mother talking to my mom. He was searching as he carefully walked around the car very slowly. I sat there, as still as I could. I stared into his eyes, not once did I move eye contact with him. He moved slowly past the car. It seemed to take an eternity. His very presence my me sick. I knew that I or my little sisters were the next potential victim. There was no doubt in my mind. He finally left. He speed off in his car.

I honked the horn to rush my mother along. I did not unlock the doors until she was right there. I grabbed her and pulled her into the car as quickly as I possibly could. Then I climbed over her to lock the door. I told my mother the story and she did not think to much of it. I asked her "would if this is the guy that is killing all of those girls"? There was only silence as we drove home.

The very next day another young girl turned up dead. This time they caught the predator. Would you believe who appeared on the news? That's right, the creepy son of the elderly woman.

I was very young but I completely understood what he was thinking. I knew that he was on the hunt and me and my sisters were in grave danger. This animal was one of the black auras that I have seen and witness. He was a dark soul.

I was only 7, but I will never, let me say that again, NEVER forget what I felt and witnessed. I am very grateful for my guardian angels and have the gift of intuition that has protected me and my family. for the black ones. I have only seen 3 totally black auras in my life. I hope that I never see another one.

I want to comment on what this blog is to me.

This is about me, who was Mormon - and a psychic - in a Mormon state.

I constantly was told that I was evil, and that if I need this much help I was in real trouble. Your gifts are from the devil, you are crazy, and my favorite you are a "Monster". I have always been made to feel ashamed of myself and the gifts I was given. My own family treated me like "the" outcast. You know when you read books on abuse, or watch TV documentaries on abusive relationships - the abuser always picks one. It took me 45years to realize I was that one. I was the one that was abused. I have tried for years to get their acceptance. They hate me. They do not want me around. I was never allowed to be my true self. I have walked away from my family with a few exceptions. I have never told them, someday I will.

This blog is for the healing of my spirit, and my heart. This is how I can come to grips with being psychic, and not being ashamed of who I am.

This is much harder than I ever thought it would be. I hear myself tell the stories of my childhood, but it is not the same as seeing it in print. I will find myself. I will find where I belong. I did not ask for these wonderful gifts. But they are mine. I am now ready to move on. Please stay with me on my journey of discovery.

I have always been guided. Many who know me know that I have always credited the angels for raising me. Many times I would be in the depths of despair and my angels always rescued me.

I lived my life up until age 32 before I found out that the rest of the world did not talk to angels on a daily bases, that seeing auras was not something a majority of humans would have the privilege of seeing.

This came to light through a dear friend at work (Jan). Things at our job were not going well and rumors of lay-offs would be pending. I looked at my friend. I told her that her "Glowing" had diminished. Glowing is what I called the auras. Jan asked me "what I was talking about"? I explained the energy from her body creates a glowing and I noticed that hers was not glowing as bright today. Jan turned to me and ask "do you see auras"? I said "No, only crazy people see auras". That's what I really thought, it didn't click in my head that they were the same thing. The next day she brought me a book. Needless to say I was a little surprised. She also told me that not everyone sees them. So I asked "What about Angels". WOW, who would have thought that wasn't normal either. I guess at this point I did feel a little special, but mostly scared that someone would find out, ant that I would be alienated like I was when I was as a child.

Jan was a good friend and she did not betray my trust.

Now days, I just keep my opinion to myself unless asked.

It is truly a glorious world and everything glows. All life has energy and a spirit. The aura is one way to see how someone is feeling at that time. I have been working with a Yogi this last year. I have learned why and how to control what I see and feel. People can sense when you are looking at their aura. You see into their soul. Their soul feels the intrusion. So now I have worked very hard not to invade their privacy. It was so immediate for me, and so natural. I never gave it much thought. Now I only look when they ask. Again, the law of free agency has to be obeyed. I am learning as I go, I guess like everyone else.

The whole aura thing brings up another story. I was attending a church event. Yes, a Mormon event. I believe I was right around 14 years old. My young women's class went to a play at the Salt Palace in Salt Lake City. The play, I do not remember the name, but it was about the Book of Mormon and the Neophite’s. My class and I were walking in, when we heard that the prophet of the church would be attending.

This is a really big deal.

At the time the Prophet was Spencer W. Kimball. Now this man, this leader of this ever growing church was a very good man. As soon as he walked in with his entourage his aura consumed the entire building. It was amazing. I have never seen such an aura. This great leader of this church walked right over to me an introduced himself. Everyone stood with their mouths open, including me.

You will soon learn in later blogs that for some reason, I have met church leaders from all sorts of religious affiliations. Pope John Paul, the Dali Lama, Mormon church leaders from Harold B. Lee all the way to Thomas S. Monson. If you are counting that is 6 prophets of the Mormon church. There have been others, I just can't remember who they were and their affiliation.

It is weird, they seem to find me in a crowd. Who knows why and what does it matter. We are all in this together. Making our little corner of the world a better place to be.

Just as there is light energy, you have to have the dark. The balance of the universe.

One evening my husband and I were driving in the foot hills of American Fork Canyon. Time had escaped us and it became dark. We started to head back down the mountain when we came across of a group of kids. These kids were with a much older man. His aura was very dark and very big. You could see the darkness of his soul, it was darker than the night. It glowed dark! To be in his presence made me physically ill. He was not a good man.

Glowing (Auras) come in all different shapes and sizes. Did you know that some leak? It is true. I was watching my hair dresser as she was talking to me and I noticed that she had a leak right about her left shoulder. I asked her what had happened. She told me that she was in a car accident 4 days earlier and her shoulder was hurting. I have seen leaks in auras when someone is being drained of energy. This seems to happen a lot with couples - if it's not a balanced relationship. You know instantly what area of the relationship is in trouble. If it leaks at the root chakra the person is feeling insecure and that their foundation might be in jeopardy. If it leaks out of the heart, this partner has been hurt and betrayed by the other. I could go on and on.

Auras come in colors. Some have multiple colors. They are all beautiful except

Beginning to finding myself

I woke up this morning and decided it is time to voice my thoughts and my life.

I am Psychic. I have a variety of gifts. Angels talk to me, I see auras, and I can see spirits that travel with people. I am also pretty good at Tarot cards and I am Reiki certified. Sometimes I have visions of the past and sometimes I see the future. Most of time I just start talking and information just comes out about the person I am with or the situation. Among other things that just happen out of the blue.

I have been different my entire life.

When I was a young, my mother thought there was something wrong with me. I would stare off into space and act like I was talking to someone. Doctors all told her that I had a very active imagination. I have a secret, I was talking with someone. This was the point that my mother became scared of me. She sees me as a "Monster".

The whole "Monster" label really messed with me growing up. I continually denied who I am and who I was.

We moved to Utah. Land of the Mormons. They are the nicest people you will meet. I am not Mormon, that alone isolated and made me stand out. Try being psychic on top of that. I tried to fit in. I told no one what I saw or felt including my mother.

At this time my parents divorced and my mother remarried. She married a Mormon. He was not a very good Mormon. He was abusive which made my crazy mother abusive. I became a slave to them and their children. Hello Cinderella. He had 3 children, my mother had 3 children and they had 4 children together. I was the oldest.

I will admit that one of my gifts is to put thoughts into people’s minds. When I was younger I did not realize the law of free agency. Anyhow, I would mess with their heads. I would have them answer the phone before it rang, have the kids through toys against the wall and other little things that would make them think that they were crazy. I guess it was a release.

My mother became Mormon so that means we all became Mormon. I really enjoyed the social aspect, morals and the values that are taught. I love the whole Jesus redeemer thing, be honest in everything that you do and Love one another. No sex before marriage and you are sealed to your family for time and all eternity.

I don't like how they are hypocrites and do not follow their own morals and laws. They can be the most dishonest people I have ever met. They have so many children that they cannot take care of them financially or emotionally. The biggest thing I do not like is the elite mind set.

Back to my family. Being the oldest slated me to take the kids to church while my good Mormon parents stayed at home. My life consisted of chores, punishments and taking care of their children. I cannot remember one day in my childhood that I ever felt loved. I never knew if they would keep me or send me off to my dads. I was scared to leave my little sisters behind. My full blooded sisters. If they did not have me to hit and yell at, I was sure it would be handed down to my little sister.

I stayed as long as I could. I was very small, 5 ft 2 inch and only 90 pounds. I was sixteen and my step father through me down the stairs. He threw me so hard that it broke the banister. He started to blame me. He said that I jumped. I am scared of heights and stairs. There is no way in hell that I would jump. This upset my sister. She is 15 months younger than me. She jumped on him and started to hit him. She saved my life that day. I went to the basement where my room was. It was an unfinished basement where I had sheets hanging for walls. I sat on bed crying and bleeding. My mother came down and started to yell at me, "Why would I jump, was it to get attention"? Like I said she was crazy. She then slapped me so hard that blood went flying over the walls of my room. After a while she left. I crawled out of my window and walked 10 miles on the highway. I final reached my friends house. We did not have cell phones in those days. I stayed with her family for the next 8 months. I spent 4 days in bed from the incident. I was so sore that I could not walk. My family did not know where I was for a few months and I did noticed they did not look for me.

My father also remarried and was a little more stable. He was a very selfish man. He knew there was abuse going on and just didn't want to take the time to help. i love him but he was just another person in my life that was never there for me when I needed him.

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. That is a cap of my sad little story. It made who I am today and I am very proud of myself.

Tomorrow I will write about my psychic stories throughout my