You are never alone

Have you ever sat back in ah of others? I have a tendency to sit back and judge myself by the accomplishments of others. I see these women that have accomplished so much. They raise 15 children, they are active in their church fulfilling many callings, they feed the homeless, they have started a business from scratch and now are making bundles of money, etc, etc.... I remember meeting with a woman with such great psychic powers and I have wonder what it would be like to be her.

It makes me feel very small and very unimportant.

Then I remind myself to take a step back. I have to evaluate my life and my accomplishments.

I have survived a very dysfunctional home. I raised 10 brothers and sisters. I have endured abuse at the hand of my mother and step father. I was the monster of their nightmares. With my birth came reality, responsibility and heart ache. Everyone and everything was more important than I was to anyone. I have never had anyone that I can trust or depend on. I was completely alone in a house hold of 12.

I still believe to this day that if I was not for my angels I would be dead. My angels raised me. In turn I raised my mother’s children from both marriages. Do you know not one of them will talk to me? My mother has convinced all of them that I am a monster. They are scared of me.

There are a lot of things that I could focus on and be depressed, just look at the world around us.

Count the many blessings in your life. If you can't find them ask someone around you. If they dont know ask your angels.

I remember when I was a teenager maybe 13 years old. I was exhausted. I had gone to school all day and then came home and did laundry, fixed dinner, cleaned the bathroom, did dishes and went to young women’s. Young women’s is a once a week meeting for girls between ages 12-18 to meet in a Mormon environment and have lessons about different religious subjects.

It was a beautiful lesson. At the end of the lesson my teacher handed out a book for each of us. I looked at the authors name and new that I would marry into that family. I went home and told my mother of my experience. She told me that there is no way to marry into this family because he only has daughters. I explained that I did not know how or why, but I will marry into his family.

Several years later, I would sneak into a dance club at the age of 16. You were required to be at least 18 and have identification to verify. For some reason I was never ID'd. If you saw me at age 16 you would have thought I was 12. I look very young for my years.

Any how I would go to the "Star Palace" every Thursday night for country dancing. One night I met this most amazing man. I did not know him; oh he was so handsome and funny. I have never heard anyone tell stories they way he did. I was gone, head over hills. I had never felt that way before, I just knew. He was the one.

I have to tell you I was very freaked out. My parents went through a bad divorce and here I am 16 and I knew. Over the years I had promised myself to never get married. You know the whole men are dogs’ thing. I was gone hook, line and sinker…

I never got a chance to meet him that night. Each week I would go dancing just to see him. I was too shy to introduce myself. He never once noticed me or talked to me.

One day after getting home from school, I received a phone call. "You do not know me" a deep voice said on the other end, "but I have noticed you and I would like to know you better. Do you have some free time tomorrow night"? "I have a truck and a tank of gas and I would like to take you out". I asked, "Who is this"? He laughed with the sexiest voice I have ever heard.

The next night came so quickly. I was so scared and excited at all the same time. He was so gorgeous and so kind, what a gentleman, he held open my door and always said thank you and please.... Ohhhhhhh heavy sigh. I was completely in love. 6 months later I married my sweetheart.

Would you believe, he was the nephew of the author of the book that I received 5 years earlier? I still feel in ahh of the wonderful man I was lucky enough to marry. He is my heart my everything.

I have nothing to envy, I am wonderful the way that I am. So are you. Thank you my angels for watching over me and guiding me.